I’m Still Hurting

Hello, dear ones.

 

Here we are, two weeks out. I find myself…okay, but not great. I feel like I am actually grieving, going through the process but unable to find any closure. I’ll do something fun, and then feel guilty that I was enjoying myself while Trump still hangs over our nation’s head. Every cabinet appointment makes things worse. Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does. I don’t want to wallow in my pain, but at the same time I can’t allow it to become normal. The fear and anger are going to be what keeps me sharp and fighting. (And yes, I know, fear and anger lead to the dark side. But we tried the light side, okay? And we lost. Badly. The Dark Side has massacred all the younglings in the Jedi temple, and it’s time to whip out a lightsaber and kick some serious ass. Because sometime a little righteous anger is necessary, okay?)

The worst thing for me has been how unexpected it was. Facebook had led me to believe that everyone in the whole world was pro-Hillary (or at least anti-Trump) and that there wasn’t a snowman’s chance in hell that he’d win. 538 agreed. Now I feel like I can’t use Facebook to gauge interest in things, as I did before. I can’t take my usual news sources at face value. I can no longer trust things I once did (like my own judgment, apparently). I am really, really well insulated, apparently, and I need to change that.

 

I’ve been reading some really interesting and diverse hot takes about how the Democrats let this slip away and where to go from here. I have to admit, I’m pretty dismayed at all the finger-pointing and division that’s starting to emerge. I am entirely less concerned with how the election was lost and more concerned with how we are going to fight Trump.*

 

We need to take some lessons from the Tea Party, y’all. They got super pissed, and they built a nationally-known movement out of that. Their anger was their #1 goal–stop Obama at any cost. They did not let anything get in the way of their goal. And they got a lot of candidates in office and they became a force to be reckoned with in a major way. I’m not advocating their politics, but I am advocating their methods. We need to keep our eyes on the prize at any costs. All whining and infighting is a distraction that keeps us from stopping Trump’s racist and harmful policies. End of story. Also, we need a flag. Really! I think we need a flag. Can it be a flag made of pantsuits? How about, to steal a tea party tactic and take an old flag, the women’s suffrage flag? It looks like this.

Isn’t that pretty? Don’t you want to have that on your bumper and in your yard? I know I do! Let’s get on it, people. I’m serious. Can we start a #LoveTrumpsHateFlag movement? I will make some of these flags if need be.

 

I know somebody, rightly, is going to tell me to check my privilege. I know that, as a white woman, I experience only a small fraction of the bullshit POC and other minorities face. I get that. But I have come to the conclusion that you can’t please everyone all of the time. If you wait for something that everyone is happy with, nothing will ever, ever happen. And we don’t have that time to wait. There is far too much at stake.

 

So let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt, huh? Let’s have some faith that the person trying to fight alongside you is worried about the same things you are worried about and wants to see you succeed and thrive. Ignorance is a thing. I admit that there are concerns that say, the black community has that would not occur to me as I plan a movement. But that does not mean in any way that I don’t care about those concerns! And if someone were to tell me, “hey, we have this concern and it needs to be a part of the plan” I would do whatever I could to make it happen.

This is not Susan B Anthony opposing black suffrage. This is not a bunch of racist jerks plotting to exclude people. Those are the people we are trying to STOP! But if we keep fighting with each other over little things, really small and ultimately unimportant things, then that is not going to happen. Hatred will win. Bigotry will win. And it will be our fault because we couldn’t unite to stop it.

 

On that depressing note, who’s up for some advocacy? We’ve got some phone calls to make!

I will be the first to admit, I’m pretty terrified about speaking on the phone. I had a hard time ordering pizza as a child (before it could be done online–thank God for the internet!!). Even when I worked on the Obama campaign, calling hundreds of people a week, I was still really grossed out by phone calls.

 

BUT–you can do this! There are a lot of scripts available online. And the numbers are right there! It’s easy and it’s effective. So please, let’s all do this. Often. Set aside a block of time a week (some lunch break one weekday?) and call your representative. Tell him about what you’re worried about. You don’t even have to use a script! If you’re reeling from the Sessions appointment, tell him/her that. If you think Bannon is a disastrous choice for America, say so!! We’re all talking about this stuff constantly. So tell someone who can DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. It’s worth it. It will get easier. I am cheering for you!!

Here is a link about why calling works. Also, unless it’s something where specifically asked for everyone to call (like Paul Ryan’s Obamacare survey) then just call YOUR Rep–they don’t care if you’re not from their area, and they do check. So print out your rep’s local office number and put it on your desk. Heck, enter them into your speed dial. And call! Call early, call often. It matters. It actually helps. Just go do it.

 

BIG NEWS!!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!!

I have started a book donation campaign for local and school libraries. My son’s personal library is packed to the gills with books about racism, sexism, diversity, immigration, the environment, sharing…you name it, he’s got it. And I know that he will grow up respecting people who are different from him and our earth because of them. As an author, I have to believe that books matter, especially books we give to children. So I have to put my money where my mouth is and start a project, Books Banish Bullying. You can either buy a book yourself and donate it to a library, buy a book from the wishlist and I will donate it to a library in need, or you can chip in for shipping via paypal. I have a list of recommended (by me) books on the site broken down by topic, along with a brief summary. The website is http://www.booksbanishbullying.com. Or check us out on facebook! Share this, people. Spread it to everyone you know. Let’s just make a big flood of children’s books that will wash the whole nation. This is a firmly bipartisan effort. I don’t care who you voted for, you are not anti-book.

I am a one-woman operation as of now, so I am happy to have suggestions/ideas. (why, you could even email them to me at booksbanishbullying@gmail.com!) Also, I need to get 501(c)3 status STAT, any of my smart lawyer friends know how to do that? But seriously, in the spirit of Christmas, why don’t you give a book to a school in need? You can feel like you’ve done something to combat Trump’s nightmare cabinet choices (if indeed you find them nightmarish) and you can do something good for kids, too. Thank you.

Now for some questions:

1. Are you interested in me making a weekly action item? It’s hard to shift through facebook sometimes. I am offering to choose one thing to call about, etc. and post about it here/sending it out in an email. I work from home and have flexibility to do this. Most of y’all don’t. I know people who are quitting their jobs to work on stopping Trump full time. This would be my contribution to that, like Lee Jordan’s Potterwatch radio show. I want to give hope by offering an easy thing to do each week. Does anyone need/want that? Please let me know.

 

2. I was inspired this weekend to write a short story–a version of “Annie” where Trump adopts a young Latino girl for PR reasons. It occurred to me that there are several other Christmas stories that could use a Trump-update, and I have 4 in mind (one for each week of Advent). They are funny and mostly hopeful in nature–if we plant positivity in the world, then we’ve increased the possibility that positive things will happen, right? Christmas is the season for miracles…and we could sure use a miracle right now. These stories are in the vein of this piece about Obama and President Bartlett.  Question is–does anyone other than my Mom want to read them?

 

So that’s where I am this week. Please comment, either here, on FB, or via email if you’re interested in weekly action bulletins, the Books Banish Bullying campaign, or the Merry Christmas, Mr. Trump stories. Have ideas? Want to help? Let me know! I long to hear from you. The only way we make it through this is together.

 

Stay safe out there. Be good to yourself and others. I love you all.

-Laura

 

*Yeah, I said it. Trump. We need to say it, and often. I know it makes me feel gross. I’d rather call him some demeaning nickname like he calls women and minorities nicknames, but we can’t do that. It’s a direct Voldemort parallel. He MUST be named. Don’t give him the power, don’t make him larger than life. He’s just a man. Donald Trump. Let’s keep it real.

What Comes Next?

Dear Friends,

It’s been one week since the world turned upside down. Since the impossible happened. I find I still can’t bring myself to say the words “President” and “Trump” together. I’m afraid for what’s coming next. I’m deeply saddened that our country is so divided. I’ve spent the past week in a fog, trying to distract myself from the reality that I never thought possible.

 

But a week has gone by. I’ve gone through the five stages of grief (no, really) and now it’s time to dust myself off and get moving. There is so, so much work to be done.

 

Many of you have reached out to me in the past week, looking for advice and things to do. This post is for you. I do not pretend to be an authority. I keenly know that my plans for the future are influenced by my racial, economic, cis and hetero privilege. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s okay! You might not be ready to fight yet (or ever). That’s also okay. Take care of yourself. Do what’s right for you. I am posting this largely to keep myself accountable as we venture into this new world (that Tom and I have been calling the Upside Down, gallows-humor firmly in place).

 

My Top Five List of Things to Do:

 

1. Focus. 

• Don’t lose myself in despair. Despair is Evil’s greatest tool to keep us from reaching greatness.
• Don’t get consumed by hate. Hate is the dark side, for real. Hate will not be extinguished with more hate, only with love. Patient, unglamorous, thankless love.
• Don’t what-if myself into an early grave. Lying awake at night dreaming up every horrible thing to come helps nobody. Remember that Presidents don’t accomplish most of what they promise during the campaign. Have faith in our country’s checks and balances.
• Don’t cling to the past. We can’t do the election over. We can’t change the results. The longer I sit around praying that the faithless electors thing will work, the more time I waste not getting a head start protecting the freedoms I hold dear. There is no time to lose.

2. Donate

• Go deep, not wide. Pick one or two organizations that do work you really care about and give as much as you can. It doesn’t matter how much—every dollar helps.
• Believe that your money makes a difference. The facebook group Pantsuit Nation has over a million members, Lawyers on the Left thousands in a week. If all of us gave a small amount ($10-20 a month) the budgets of these organizations would overflow and we could compete with the super PACs.

 

3. Activate

• Volunteer somewhere. Anywhere. It doesn’t have to be overtly political. It could be at your local food bank, or your church’s Sunday school. It could be answering phones for the Brady Campaign against Gun Violence or escorting patients at Planned Parenthood. It could be driving your elderly neighbor to the grocery store. There is so much to be done.
• Aim for an hour a week/4 hours a month. Make a regular commitment and establish relationships with the organization.
• Follow through. Many organizations (rightly but frustratingly) screen their candidates and require trainings. Don’t give up. They need your help.
• CALL YOUR REPS. Often. At their local offices. Let them know what you think of how they’re doing, what they’re saying, and what your concerns are. Here’s a great guide from a former staffer on how to effectively contact your representatives: http://www.attn.com/stories/12768/former-congressional-staffer-explains-how-to-make-congressman-listen.

 

1. Sustain

• I’ve been thinking a lot about what the greatest priority is during the Trump administration, and I’ve decided it has to be climate change, since that is one thing we can’t undo. Even if we have a nightmare scenario where abortions and gay marriages are illegal, we can change those laws back. We can’t lower the temperature of the earth. We can’t replenish the ozone layer. And we know damn well that this administration is not going to protect our earth. So, it’s going to fall to us. Again, small acts will add up. If everyone in Pantsuit Nation did one of these things, the effect would be amazing.
• Cut out meat whenever possible. Factory farming is one of the biggest causes of global warming. Try to be vegetarian until dinner. Or pick one night a week to go meatless. Just cutting out fast food helps—they are some of the biggest offenders. Again, just a little act moves the needle. You don’t have to go full-out vegan (I certainly won’t) to make a change.
• Reduce the amount of waste you put out. For me, we have a lot of aluminum cans and single serve plastic bottles. I’m pledging to go can- and bottle-free and just drink from multi-serve containers (like milk cartons) and try to just drink tap water whenever possible. Is this annoying? Yes! But saving the earth is not easy, or else we would have done it. It requires sacrifice. If tree-hugging doesn’t do it for you, make it a political act. Whisper “screw you orange dude” every time you use the reusable k-cup pod instead of the wasteful one-use ones. Give yourself a tiny thrill. Whatever works.
• Pick one thing you do that’s bad for the environment and change it. You don’t have to go full-out hippie organic make your own deodorant (although you can if you want to). Just make one change. When you get used to it, make one more. We are going to try cloth diapers. I am grossed out but empowered. I can deal with it to make the earth a better place for my son.
• Buy less stuff. This is the crux of it. We went to the landfill this weekend to get rid of our moving trash. The place was packed with people dumping bags and bags of trash. It doesn’t disappear just because you throw it out. It sits there, polluting our water, soil, and air. The manufacturing processes that makes all the stuff we throw out wrecks our planet. You don’t have to use “green” everything—just use one thing until it’s used up, then use one more thing. I used to be a big makeup offender—I had drawers full of half-used lipsticks and nail polish. Now I have one lipstick, one blush, one mascara, and one eye-shadow. When they run out, I buy a new one. I’ve been doing this for three years now. I save a ton of money AND I’m helping the planet!
• Whenever possible, buy used (or don’t buy at all). I’ve pledged not to buy any new books or clothes for a year. This is a HUGE sacrifice for me!!!! But there are lots of secondhand stores and there’s a great library here and I will make do. You can make do, too.

 

1.  Listen.

• Don’t get lost in the hateful rhetoric. Millions of people voted for Trump. They are not all racist asshats. Some of them are my friends, my neighbors, and even family members. They’re not monsters—they’re people I know and love. I want to ask them why voted for him, what they hope he will do. I want to learn their concerns and fears. I want to work together with them to help our communities.
• In the weeks leading up to the election, it seemed like 100% of the country was voting for Hillary (because 100% of my newsfeed was.) I was alarmed to realized how insulated I am. I don’t want to ignore over half of America. I am a Southerner, and I get really ticked off when people suggest we secede, like we don’t matter. We matter. Everyone matters. I want to get to know these people, and let them get to know me.
• This doesn’t mean you have to let bigots and jerks into your life. You don’t deserve abuse. If someone’s not engaging rationally and politely, move along. But I’ll bet we will be surprised with how many people we can really talk to.

 

This is not an exhaustive list. I will also be praying, a lot. And listening to Christmas music a lot. And baking cookies. Those things make me happy. It’s important to exercise self-care religiously. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. Know when you’ve had too much. Don’t burn yourself out. But do know that you CAN make a difference. You can, and you must.

Do not despair, my dearest friends. We are at a great crossroads. Even if Hillary had been elected, there was still much to be done in this country. We need gun laws. We need better schools. We need criminal justice reform. Hillary may or may not have done these things. I know that I would have felt better, safer, knowing she was President. But the work would still have needed to be done. We cannot rely on our elected officials to know what is important to us and to act on that. Now, we definitely cannot. This is an opportunity to stand up for what we believe in, to put our money where our mouth is, and to actually, really, and truly make our country a better place. And if we don’t seize that opportunity, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

 

I know we are up to the challenge. We can do this. I’m ready to get started. Let’s unleash the beast of the American people!

 

So, what will YOU do to #UnleashTheBeast? Let’s get some momentum going! Take care of yourselves. I am here for you, and I love you.