Girl Meets Boy Who Lived AWAKENS

 

Hello!!
Just a short update today–because in case you were wondering, trying to work full-time with a small baby at home is hard. Baby Bear had to go to the doctor’s office this morning, and although he got a clean bill of health (thank goodness!) I am now frantically trying to catch up on the work that I couldn’t do while he was screaming his head off yesterday or at the doctor’s today.
Did you know that babies experience developmental “leaps” where they learn new stuff? And that, in the periods before the new skill is mastered, they are really fussy and clingy? I just learned this! There is actually an app called “wonder weeks” that shows you where your baby is developmentally and whether, based on that, they should be happier or fussier than usual. It’s obviously not 100% accurate but it’s been pretty spot on for Baby Bear and many of his friends. There are so many things I don’t know about parenting.
New moms–or women who are hoping/planning to become moms–find mommy friends! Women who have recently gone through what you are going through can give you tips and help you remain sane. I learned about the wonder weeks app, as well as a portable sound machine that has SAVED OUR LIVES in the car, from a neighbor with a six month old. This is a vital thing to do, even if your mom and mother in law are awesome and know everything about babies like mine do. They do not know about new apps and gear and they don’t remember exactly which week baby’s crying hits a Lifetime High (it’s 6-8, by the way). Mommy friends are good for baby’s well-being and your well-being. They also won’t judge you if you’re in your sweatpants at 3pm and eating a piece of cake. 🙂
So I finally got Harry Potter 7 back from the library! I had it on digital loan and it expired mid-page (yes, I was reading at midnight when they expire, have you met my 7-week old?) and I was forced to wait two weeks until it was available again. THIS WAS SUSPENSEFUL. But it’s back in my hands and I am zipping through it. This is not a full-length post about the book, because I haven’t finished it yet, but just some scattered thoughts (do I have any other kind but scattered?)
-man, JK learned how to write! There are some no-joke lovely scenes in here. She has upped her game in a major way and it’s awesome.
-Useless Ron is still useless. I have gotten a lot of (friendly) hate mail about this, but I refuse to back down. I know he’s sweet and loyal, but one of these things is not like the other, you know? I’m sure he wouldn’t bother me half as much if he didn’t end up with Hermione. She is the brightest star in the Harry Potter constellation and Ron is…not. I HATE the trope where a strong, bright woman ends up with a lovable doofus. Katniss and Peeta are almost the same thing, but Peeta at least has some people skill qualities Katniss doesn’t have. Together, Peeniss (worst portmanteau EVER) is actually a better team than they are apart. Not so for Ronmione*. I wish she had married Viktor Krum. They could have been such a power couple! I said this to my mom recently. Her response: “Gross.” *do these two have a real portmanteau? I haven’t come across one. Grangely? Weaser?
-I haven’t got to the part where EVERYONE dies yet. I know a zillion people die and I am sad about it. We’ve already lost Mad-Eye (aka My Favorite) and Dobby and a whole bunch of others. Why, JK, why so many? If Lee Jordan dies I will BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN.
That’s all for now! See you next week–most likely for the FULL and FINAL GMBWL!

On the (blog) Road Again…

Hello Everyone!

 

Sorry I’ve been gone for an awfully long time…but I have a good excuse I swear!! Our son (we’ll call him Bear because this is a public blog and I don’t want to splash him about the internet without his consent) was born on 2/20/16. He is so wonderful! The hubby and I have been learning how to parent a tiny human and that has taken up the majority of my time lately. But this week I am back to my normal schedule of work/volunteering, and that means back to the blog! So look for weekly updates to resume on Tuesdays. It feels good to be back!

 

I promise this won’t be a parenting blog (because there are enough of those, Goddess knows, and because that’s not what you signed up for!) but today, I want to talk about my kid. He’s pretty great. And I know that’s taboo to say because right now in our culture it’s fashionable to complain about what a chore parenting is and what a-holes our kids are. (there’s even a website which got turned into a book which proclaims all the many and various ways in which toddlers are a-holes. It’s got quite a following.) But my kid is not an a-hole, he is just adorable and I love being with him. And I think it’s okay to say that!

 

Look, I know this is fraught. Many people are desperate for a child and struggling with infertility and other issues. Many people don’t want kids at all and are sick of being pressured by society about it. Many people have suffered the absolutely unthinkable loss of their child and don’t want to be reminded of it. I get that. Just like when I was newly engaged, I felt weird posting about it on facebook because I knew it might make my single friends more conscious of their own status and make them sad. But I think we have to stop doing this. We need to become people who celebrate others’ successes instead of just comforting them in their failures.Don’t get me wrong–we absolutely need to comfort each other during the hard times. It is a vital and necessary thing to do and it’s not easy, either. But it is also not easy, I have discovered, to cheer for someone when they’ve gotten something good, especially if it’s something you want yourself.

 

At my baby shower, my friend AT said that she’s making an effort as a mom to remind other moms that they are doing a great job. That idea has really stuck with me. Everyone needs to hear that, don’t they? When someone forgets to buckle their kid’s car seat and they get home and realize their kid was unsnapped the whole time, you tell them they’re doing a great job (because they are). And also, when someone tells you their baby slept through the night at only two weeks, you have to tell them they’re doing a great job. Even if your kid is still only sleeping for an hour at a time and you’re so sleep-deprived you’re hallucinating. Don’t wish that something heavy would fall on her head! Tell her she’s doing a great job and mean it. Because chances are, there’s something your kid is doing she envies you for. And Sleeping Beauty is much more likely to congratulate you on your success if you let her know you appreciate hers, too.

 

It’s hard to take a compliment sometimes (especially as a woman!) but it’s also hard to give one sincerely. I am trying to work hard on both of these skills. I think that they tie into being honest about how you’re feeling about your own situation, whether that is good or bad. It just seems like if you say “my darn kid is driving me up the wall!” everyone has sympathy, but if you say “my sweet baby makes me so happy” people roll their eyes at you. It’s why we love the self-deprecating Jennifer Lawrence but hate the annoyingly perfect Gwyneth Paltrow and Anne Hathaway. I know I’ve rolled my eyes at a goopy facebook post or two, but I’m making an effort not to do it anymore. Because child-rearing is, for me so far, an unmitigated joy. Yes, there’s tons of poopy diapers and I am usually covered in spit up more often than not and I only eat meals standing up one-handed, but I am loving it. I adore my little guy and I could spend hours describing in detail the cute sounds he makes, the funny faces he pulls, and how much fun I have watching him grow.

 

What are you loving right now, dear friends? I heartily congratulate you on your success! And I want you to know that you’re doing a great job. See you next week. Thanks for reading!