Girl Meets Boy Who Lived, Part 5

Welcome Back, Everyone!!

I hope you had a lovely week. Facebook timeline keeps reminding me that historically this week is has been super busy/stressful for me, so I had been feeling overwhelmed, but the Ghosts of Weeks Past have convinced me that things have been much worse, which strangely makes me feel better. 🙂

Are y’all ready for Halloween? I must admit I’m not a huge fan of the holiday. I don’t like being scared or scary things or dressing up sexy so it holds little appeal for me. However, on principle as a costume mistress/designer, when I do dress up, I want to do it up right. This year my costume is doing double duty–it was a Sherlockian pun last night at my Watson’s Tin Box meeting (my local Sherlock Holmes scion society), and on Friday night it will be…you’ll just have to see! It’s an obscure musical theater reference, but it’s rather appropriate and timely. I am stoked.

I promised Harry Potter recaps, and I shan’t go back on my word–but first, a word about Girl Meets World (from whence the title of this particular blog series came). It’s gotten very angsty/good this season! It’s rare that a TV show–particularly a Disney kids show–ages with its audience. But the kids on the show are getting older, and the issues they are dealing with are getting more serious. I used to watch it purely for the Cory/Topanga/Shawn feels, but now I must admit that I’m sort of invested in the kids’ stories! (Not their son Auggie, because he’s a disaster, but Riley/Maya/Lucas/Farkle). If you haven’t watched any of this show, and you were a Boy Meets World fan back in the day (and let’s be honest, who wasn’t?) I encourage you to give it a chance. It’s really starting to grow into itself and live up to the legacy of BMW.

Without further ado, what you all came for–Harry Potter and the Zzzzzzzz……Oh, sorry! It’s just that this book was so boring that I fell asleep in the middle of it. My feelings for this book can be summed up in this comic:

(credit of course must be given to http://floccinaucinihilipilificationa.tumblr.com, who has created so many of these wonderful comics which I’ve dubbed “Dirtbag Dumbledore”.)

But for realz, y’all, what can I even say about this book? I was told it was boring. My expectations were so low. And yet, it managed to be worse than I thought. It nearly derailed this blog series because of how much I didn’t want to write about it. But I shall persevere, for your pleasure. I live to serve.

HP 5:

-Oh look, Harry’s going to get expelled from school for using magic! Wow this really upped the stakes–oh wait, no it didn’t because that would NEVER HAPPEN because a) Harry is the freakin’ subject of these books, b) he’s Dumbledore’s fave, whom everyone respects even though I have no idea why he seems super old and whimsical instead of powerful, and c) can you imagine the PR nightmare of kicking the Chosen One out of your school? Beauxbatons and that other school where all the hot Russian-looking boys go would be chomping at the bit to add Harry Freaking Potter to their alumni list! It would be so stupid for Hogwarts to lose that gold mine.

-Speaking of stupid–DOLORES UMBRIDGE CANCELS QUIDDITCH. This is not a thing that can happen. Look, I know we’re in a magical world with giants and wizards and stuff, but there are some things that are sacrosanct across all worlds. School athletic programs are one of them. Do you think a new principal could show up at a Texas high school, cancel football, and manage not to be run out of town on a rail? Of course not! It’s nonsensical! JK really lost me at this point. Have Dottie Umbrage torture Harry all she wants–he seems to like it–but cancel quidditch? You’re out of your mind. (This one point alone is enough to invalidate the whole book. I almost posted just this point and left it at that, but it turns out I had too much to vent about.)

-Dumbledore’s Army is kind of cool. Too bad they fail at saving anyone. It is nice, though, to see Harry owning his power a little bit. The poor kid deserves a break. This book really had me wishing that he and Ginny have above-average marital relations. I mean, Harry is probably bad at sex. Let’s be honest about that. But Ginny’s had some boyfriends, she might know some stuff? I hope she makes Harry think he’s really good at it. He deserves that much.

-The only good scene was when FredGeorge is like, screw it, school is for losers, I’m going to start a joke shop. I’ll miss having you around, FredGeorge! You were the only person who seemed to enjoy life in this entire universe.

-Harry’s dad seems like he was kind of a dick.

-Something something prophecy, something something Professor Trelawney is actually useful–don’t try and sell me that nonsense! You cannot make her relevant now. By this time I was so desperate for it to be over that I sorta skimmed this part. And now, even looking at a summary on wikipedia, I don’t care enough to remember what the prophecy was about. I know Harry is special. He has to kill Voldemort. We basically knew this from day one, right? I don’t see this changing anything.

-speaking of not changing anything, I did not care at all when Sirius died. #1-It was spoiled for me years and years ago, so I knew it was coming. #2-It happened in almost the identical manner to Edward Cullen’s death in Book 4, which felt much more poignant to me. #3-Sirius was also kind of a dick and I never liked him. So the big payoff here left me cold. Much like this whole book.

-so was Umbridge raped by centaurs, as this Cracked article suggests? I don’t know. I don’t really want to think about it. I certainly don’t think that rape as a revenge tool is funny at all. Yes, Lolita was a nasty, nasty lady, but I don’t even want to go into why that doesn’t mean she deserved to be gang raped by centaurs…

This whole book was boring/sad, which is the worst combination I can think of. I would read the heck out of a book called “Harry Potter and the Pretty Nice Day, When He Got Too Much Change Back at Honeydukes and Finished His Potions Homework Early”. Maybe it’s a British thing, but this book felt torture-porny to me. And Harry’s been through enough!

However, book 6 was much better and I actually teared up at one point! But we will talk about that next week. 🙂 So tune back in, same bat time, same bat channel. Thanks for reading! Have a safe and happy Halloween.

Blog Update: Now with Official News!

Hello Everyone!!

I have not forgotten you–or this blog–despite all evidence to the contrary. I’ve just had two pretty major life events happen to me this summer and it’s taken up some time.

1. “Pirate Women” has sold! Which means that I actually have to write it 🙂 But it will be, at some time in the future, a real book that you can buy in a real store. So that is major and epic and sometimes I still can’t believe it.
2. I found out that our family is going to be expanding by 1 in February! Tom and I are having a little boy, and we are over the moon about it.

So, with those two additions to my life, I’ve been a bit busy!! I have been writing the book at a breakneck pace as well as dealing with a bunch of other impending-motherhood stuff. Rest assured, I am healthy and happy and know how blessed I am to be in this position. There’s just a lot going on around here 🙂

In case you missed it, I published a piece on the Toast about the divine Agent Dana Scully, which I think is my most popular post to date: read it here. It’s heartening to know that there are so many fangirls out there. ❤

Speaking of fangirls, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE FORCE AWAKENS!!! Twitter was about to explode during halftime last night. If that guy kept talking about football for one more second, I think people would have rioted. But we have a trailer! And it looks cool! And it really seems like the heroes of this film are a woman and a man of color and HOW WONDERFUL is THAT?!?! If you missed the trailer, here it is.

If you would like a shot-by-shot breakdown (and really, who wouldn’t?) EW has the goods.

I cannot describe how happy this all makes me. The internet, for all the crap that’s rightly said about it, has really brought some wonderful togetherness. Thirteen year old me had no idea that one day I would be able to geek out about Star Wars with millions of others through a virtual community. I had one SW friends throughout all middle school (hi, Kenny!) and we talked about it endlessly, but we thought we were alone. But there were others out there! We were not alone!! And that’s a beautiful thing. Whatever you love, you gorgeous weirdo, you are not alone. Someone out there feels the same way you do, and if you google hard enough, you will find them!!

Trying to buy movie tickets last night for two hours was, in its own way, a great communal experience. I wondered how proud George Lucas must be to know that a story he told has inspired this much demand (that crashed fandango and every other ticket site until well past midnight). It’s a strong testament to the power of stories and how much we need them in our lives. It’s only sharpened my commitment to continue to tell them through my books, and to make sure especially that everyone finds someone to identify with in them. So hooray, Finn! Hooray, Rey!! I already love you both and I haven’t even seen the movie yet. These two months cannot go by fast enough.

I am going to commit–publicly here on the blog–to updating every Tuesday. Will anyone read it? I don’t know! But I will have all sorts of things to share, about the book, baby stuff, STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS, and any other thing that’s going on in the world. So stop on by! And thanks for sticking with me. Next week–I will FINALLY review “Harry Potter 5” AND “6” (two for one? What sorcery is this?)!!

Ciao,

Laura